Some Reflections on our family trip to Israel---

                                                                  B"H

                                                Of Caves and Graves

We just came back from a most flawless trip to Israel.  There is nothing in the world like Eretz Yisrael- it felt safe, happy, alive, spiritual, and really like the place we all belong---one day soon!

 It does not make me happy to report that there was a stabbing and car ramming terrorist attack in the exact spot we had spent idling in traffic- but had we been there three hours later our trip would not have been so excellent. A good trip anywhere takes a lot of organization, as my father in law drilled into the heads of his children; prior proper planning prevents poor performance. So my husband Rabbi Schusterman gets 99.9% of the credit for keeping to what the family calls the 6 p's, while I was the dutiful partner looking over emails, making some suggestions, and head-nodding-in-agreement when my husband ran the plans by me- I arranged our shabbat lunch with an old friend, as well. 

Besides running so smoothly (I am being extremely generous here, we were delayed in ATL for 4 hours due to a death on our incoming plane, missed our connection in France, and arrived many hours later in Israel with 6 exhausted starving children--- I think getting there and back intact is my litmus test for flawless), and being away together as a family, there is something else that struck me during our trip.  Here it is, we had fun, it was magical and memorable for a lifetime,   but there was an unusual quality to this fun; we were not on a cruise or in an amusement park or anywhere near anything remotely Disneyesque--- I believe our families enjoyment stems from the principle that I so strongly believe in with all things educational and experiential; it was meaningful, and it was open-ended with no defined way to "play". 

Our trip was planned around visiting the grave-sites of the holy men and women buried all over the country- (the idea being that for centuries Jewish people have been going to these places and praying, it is a part of our Jewish tradition and considered to be a great Mitzvah),visiting family, and many caves/archaeological sites/tunnels/war ruins.  We did have a sunset Jeep ride through the Golan heights, stopping to overlook the Hulah Valley and tours of both a winery and chocolate factory (say what? that sounds fun! It was!) So what was so magical and enjoyable for 8 children ranging in ages 4-19 visiting caves and graves?

Firstly of course, it was family time, together with nothing but ourselves to keep us entertained on long rides throughout the holy land (and traffic).  We spent many hours in our little van, singing, talking, listening to our tour guide, arguing, even some whining and fighting.  But for the 12 days in Israel, there was no prescribed way to enjoy ourselves. I watched as for some children it was climbing the low wall, alone, on the walkway up Amuka, grave of the saintly Reb Yonatan Ben Uziel.  For some of the children, finding a mother and 3 baby kittens in the mausoleum  of Rachel, wife of Akiba,  was the day’s highlight right there.  The children had an ongoing count of all cats spotted the entire trip. Some counted the times they saw a license plate that had the number 8 (don't ask me why).  At the winery, when the little ones spotted a ramp, they left the group and ran circles up and down the ramp- laughing and squealing. Their joy palpable, the grape juice "tasting" at the end, only fueled the natural high with an added sugar high. Throughout our trip they skipped stones, walked on walls, spied fresh fruit trees, picked out exotic looking prayer books in sometimes dank underground tombs,  crossed busy streets, climbed big boulders through rubble, even descended deep into tunnels and caves- each and every one of our kids, as if this was the most exciting thing in the world.  In the museums, if it got “boring” for some of the younger ones, they scrambled through places they didn’t belong or just grabbed my hand happy to have Mommy or Daddy calm and peaceful.

There is something magical that happens when you take your children to a place that is meaningful to you, be it a hike, your hometown, or alma-mater – even the grave site of a loved one, and let them experience it as you do, in a natural way. There doesn’t have to be an “activity” associated with each sight and you don’t have to worry about having fun- the children make their own fun and that is the enjoyment that creates a permanent, meaningful and happy place inside of them.  I watched this happen and I look forward to hearing about their memories for many healthy years to come.  (Oh! And lots of Kosher Ice cream and snacks! )