Fruit Salad

Passover just ended. This year we made a lot of fruit salad, some of the children like fruit salad and some don't, consistent with most of their likes and wants; some do and some don't. Besides for much of the food being hit or miss, we had a most peaceful and wonderful holiday altogether as a family along with guests sprinkled everywhere. So what made this holiday different from all other holidays? Where was the bickering, the bantering, the stress and the turmoil that goes hand-in-hand with having many guests, young children and teenagers and twin three-nagers one family? What was different? Nothing. Well something was, that is… Me. And my husband. We sat down and made a very conscious decision to change our perspective, to have a paradigm shift of sorts, in how we look at each one of our children. This made all the difference. Each one of them acted exactly as they always act. You can be sure none of them took time out before the holiday to do deep soul searching and figure out how to make this Yom Tov less stressful, how to be on their A-game. That was us - the adults in their lives. In our house you can say we are a fruit salad of sorts, no I didn't say fruitcake. We are a healthful, colorful and refreshing fruit salad. Filled with the sweet stuff, tart, sour, soft mushy hard prickly and juicy delicious fruits. You get the picture. Each of the children is themselves and always going to be themselves.  It is the choice we the parents make and how we deal with them that makes all the difference. We so often hear others or ourselves bemoan "what do I do with ----- she/he's acting so ---- I am going out of my mind!" Putting the onus on the kid, something about them has got to change. So maybe it is with 8 you just cannot get away with blaming each of them for all your own problems, maybe that is why we took the leap of faith and owned this whole week. And you know, it worked. Nothing was different, it was all the same. They played, they fought, they bantered and laughed, it was wild, loud, messy and crazy- but it was different. It felt good, it felt peaceful, it was enjoyable. I was the Mom, I was in control- of---MYSELF.